inside my head... working things out
when i want something so bad for someone else it hurts me when they don't get it. sometimes it hurts me more than it hurts them.the pain is even deeper when they don't see that they need it or deserve it.
God has allowed me the amazing gift of feeling people's emotions and seeing more than what is on the surface. i often neglect to see this as a gift and choose to see it as a curse because it brings me much pain and burden. i have even gone as far to say that i hate the gift that God has for me. when i say that is sounds so loud.
why would i hate what God has for me?
because.
because being refined into Christ's image can be difficult.
because being restored to my original creation requires that i deal with sin in my life.
and in this case, the sin of selfishness.
feeling other people's burdens is real.
feeling their pain or disappointment is real.
feeling their search for peace and understanding and acceptance is real.
it is all real.
when i feel this it becomes more than just theirs... it becomes mine. but, it is sin to keep it as just mine, or even more so, to leave it as just theirs. i need to let it become ours. i like to keep things as theirs or mine, but rarely do i move the pain and angst to ours. i need to view it that way. as "ours" we can work on things together. i suppose i need to get off my arse and get involved in the pain i feel.
i need to start making it ours.
this is nothing new. but in many ways it is new to me in a different way.
i'm not just talking about helping people.
i think i'm feeling something.
something bigger,
something deeper,
something richer,
something closer to restoration.
for me.
and for you.
posted by nathan sean @ Wednesday, September 28, 2005
3 Comments:
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I can so relate and it is a pleasure and a relief to have the occasion to dicuss it, not just with those who understand but with those who do not as of yet quite grasp it.
We, people, need to come to recognize what our true duties as humans are. We are something sort of like a cog in a machine, but not the type of cog we tend to feel when working at our jobs.
If we are to have any type of law that people can truly come to respect it would need to be natural law. Natural law being that which we "all" can come to discern for ourselves. It is existing within us and without us, all around us, at all times. WE need to recognize laws that are universal not particular.
I am slowly coming to apply more and more this we, in my life. The we, in my life, has come to stand for the human species without discounting other living creatures who deserve my consideration as much as anything else, ideally.
We have not, in general, been sensitized or taught to identify ourselves as individuals of the human species, or in christian terms, members of the same body.
We lack this type of consciousness. People don't feel the needs that they truly have. We have duties we are unaware of, moral duties, as Immanuel Kant would have termed them, I think.
These needs and duties, if we ought to have any, consist of serving the greater good, supporting that which is in the interest of everyone. Those things which are laws are currently based upon, though lacking them considerably, happiness, freedom and liberty.
Equality is not a joke. Though, has been to often taken as one.
Just wanted to share my comments to your post.
Hopefully spark some more discussion with you or anyone else for that matter . God knows we need it.
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