.::discover::understand::be::.

my God at large this week...

i have missed blogging. mainly because when i blog that means i have a few minutes to stop and think. those times are becomming rare in this season. don't get thye wrong idea, things are sailing along and it has been a pure joy to be a part of it. God's movement that is. He has been very visable to me as of late.

::football practice:: i feel His direction on the field. not so much on a lazer 3 trap, but in the way i am looking at the players and coaches. i am trying to encourage and lift up some of the guys who come from a less stable home, or the guys who are feeling down about thier ability or having some off the field problems. earlier this week i had a chance to chat with one of the eighth grade players whose parents are getting divorced. the pain was all over his face. the chaos was fresh. for him football is a 2 hour distraction from the mess of things at home. and i get to be a part of that? i feel humbled. i feel challenged. i feel heart break. but most of all i feel an incredible love for him. that is God at work.

::cession:: cession is our senior high community. we have shifted gears this fall. we met in homes this past sunday instead of doing a large gathering. it can be a little scary because we as a team are relying on God to build community within the groups. very little programming. very little structure. a whole lot of hope and faith. friday we found out that many of the students who were core students at cession were all goig to be out of town to a cottage. this had a huge impact on the guys house. we automatically dropped 5 guys at my house. i was anxious and frustrated that they were going to miss. i knew we were going to have several guys come hang with us who had never been before. all i could envision was me looking at a few guys twiddling my thumbs. but my plans are so futile when lined up to God's purpose. when 5pm sunday came around, we had the best group of guys. we had a blast and they were all very excited about the vision for element:cession. i could feel a deep desire from the guys to build something special. to create a space where they could be themselves with no strings attached, with no expectations, no rules of engagment, but with that comes a place with no boundries and no limits. in a space like that God thrives. God'd purpose will prevail despite the plans of man. (i think i read that somewhere?)

::personal:: two years ago i had a vision from God. i mean like a real, "this is wierd" kinda vision. i have not really shared this before, but i had a very strong image and words that came to me during a time of extended prayer. i have been recalling this image and praying about these words in great anticipation ever since. i have been trying to figure out what they meant. what was next for me. much of the past years have been a time of waiting, a time of wonder. i think i'm starting to see the beginning of what they might mean. several weeks ago, out of the blue, i felt God's spirit hit me in the middle of a conversation. all of a sudden things clicked. i am far from finding a meaning to this but i have been greaty affirmed that i am moving forward. the journey continues...

::friends:: God has been burning me in a lot of relationships as of late. not burn as in hurting, but burn as in getting rid of things that are roadblocks to a freedom within the relationship. the thing that sucks is that in this kind of "burning away the chaffe" it can hurt. and it has. i am seeing several old relationships in new light, with new perspectives, and some new hurts. but i guess that is the way God works. i feel like the kid who stole a pack of gum from meijer and his dad makes him bring it back for the punishment and the growth. it sucks, but in time as i mature i will appreciate it. i may not understand it, but i will be more of who i am suppose to be through it. but it can be painful.

hey can you give me some grace on the spelling. i don't have time to spell check... and you know i have trouble spelling kat. so all of you spelling types please send me some grace.

shalom.

posted by nathan sean @ Wednesday, September 14, 2005